Foresight, that's the key.
So I was roped in to seeing the new Sex And The City film for V's birthday. She wanted to see a girly film and I had a free pass to something so at least I know I didn't pay for my ticket. To be fair, I do watch the show sometimes and find it amusing but I am by no means what you would call a fan. However, I'm in a very small minority of those people going in willingly to see the film because:
a) I have a penis.
b) I'm straight.
Sitting in the film I realize that it's much easier to look at Charlotte (the cute one) at home where you don't have to listen to her. In a theater there's no escaping the dialog. Surprisingly, there was a fairly inescapable poop joke. And Kim Catrall just creeps me out--I wouldn't touch her with Rosie O'Donnell's dick. I was trying my best to sit through the entire film (which was unbelievably long, like almost 2-and-a-half hours), but an hour into it I knew I something had to give. Sleep was no option because the seats were too uncomfortable and, unlike what was presented at the MTV Movie Awards two nights prior, Jennifer Hudson's prominently displayed breasts were no where to be seen.
This is where foresight came in to play.
You see, before we left I loaded my MP3 player up with some new music I had been meaning to listen to and one familiar album--Dëthkløk's Dethalbum. Foresight. *SPOILER ALERT* At the scene where Big gets cold feet and leaves the wedding only to decide to come back and then Carrie flips out (oy vey), I had decided I'd had enough. I quietly slipped on my earbuds and hit play.
While Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte and...erm...who's the forth?...Mrs. Garrett were blabbering away, their words were lost to the strains of Murmaider (listen to the repeating third and forth lines of the chorus and tell me that isn't the greatest thing you've ever heard in music!) and Go Into The Water. Foresight is salvation and this 20 minute respite (which also included Awaken, Go Forth And Die, Face Fisted, and Hatredcopter) was exactly what I needed to remain seated and carry on through the rest of the film. Removing the audio from the film and replacing it with Dëthkløk gave me a whole new perspective and dare I say appreciation for the movie. In fact, I can't wait to watch it on TBS tonight...while listening to Castratikron and Bloodrocuted of course.
All hail Dëthkløk!
Dëthkløk - Murmaider
Dëthkløk - Go Into The Water